I’m hung up on Shu: the false lash revival

Given that Madonna’s superb 2005 relaunch as a disco-slut-machine focused predominantly on her firm, proud buttocks strapped into a tight, puce leotard, I quite naturally expected the world to follow suit. But did it? Did the world eagerly clutch its collective booty and strap itself into the same set of tight, puce pants? No. It didn’t.

The world would pounce on new-Madonna, as is its wont, but its abundant dribble would not be for her pants, but for her lashes, laced with diamonds and crafted from mink. (Madonna did not have a mink shot on her behalf, of course; mink lashes are harvested by gently brushing the live animals.) The mink-diamond creation was by Shu Uemura’s artistic director, Gina Brooke, and was at once a throwback to hot, throbbing, disco-sex-super-glam and, indirectly, to the first supermodel of all time: Twiggy.

When the darling Twig arrived for her photoshoot with Barry Lategan (the photos from which would launch Twig as “The Face of ‘66”), she had cut her hair and painted eyelashes onto her face. “This was something no one had done,” Lategan said.

The image was exquisite — Twig’s thousand-mile stare, her eyes layered with thick, black tiers of lashes (Twig would later wear three sets of false lashes at a time). Yardley would release “Twiggy” make-up. Mattel would release “Twiggy Barbie”, the first ever celebrity Barbie (the second celebrity Barbie would be MC Hammer Barbie in 1991).

The lashes were, in effect, rendered cult, but ultimately dwindled (although later would be absorbed by certain gay fringe elements). And so, as much as I wanted to buy and wear false lashes in the 90s (and I did, vigorously), the market was sparse and weird. The lashes that I did find were either clearly plastic or otherwise gross. (Granted, I was 12, and eBay was still a pixel in the milkman’s eye.)

Earlier this decade, however, specks of the forthcoming false lash resurrection could be found, though granted the specks were weenie. MAC released a range inspired by Liza Minnelli, including lashes (a throwback to erotic-aggressive, helmet-hair, black-lashes Cabaret Minnelli, obviously). J-Lo wore fox fur lash extensions to the Oscars, but nobody cared (she wore a sheer top; her tits essentially stole her own show).

But then new-Madonna happened, and false lash culture was revived and burgeoning. And whether it was burgeoning because the vision of Madonna wearing these lashes and grinding an 80s stereo was so beautiful (and it was), or because every magazine was barking about how the lashes allegedly cost ten grand US, no longer mattered. Shu Uemura had defined the new-lash (full, voluminous, criss-crossed and jewel-encrusted), and in doing so had reclaimed the aesthetic of the false lash as feminine, as opposed to what it had, before then, clearly become: super-camp.

Granted, the false lash still carried a snifter of camp, but this was now largely by the by. It was hot, which meant it wasn’t tacky, and as long as it was hot, brands could afford to embrace false lash culture, snoodle it, pet it, and, ultimately, expand their range.

The Shu Uemura Tokyo Lash Bar collection continues to offer vast and exquisite false lash possibilities. Individual cherry red and baby pink flares. Full black criss-crossed sets. A black set that flares out in little V’s. A set made entirely with rich, brown feathers. And it goes on.

MAC’s current range, though less bombastic, is nevertheless extensive. Natural, delicate half-lash Bambi sets. Thick, black, fully-fledged Twiggy sets. Again, it goes on.

So too has the practise of eyelash extensions burgeoned (the semi-permanent process of adhering synthetic or mink lashes to the actual lashes; they fall out naturally after some two months) and, as such, are now permanently fixed on the faces of Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP), J-Lo, Lindsay Lohan (Lay-Lo) and Paris Hilton (Pay-Ho).

But then, extensions are pigs. They gobble cash and time (touch-up sessions are fortnightly and necessary), which renders their future at least tenuous. The false lash , too, may dwindle; the MAC collection may be spectacular, but who have I actually seen wearing them? Me? Women employed by MAC? La di dah. The false lash market is clearly but a gurgling pool; it is not the deluge of 66. It may wither. In the meantime, relish Shu.

Note: Russh is beautiful. Subscribe or die.

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