Operation McFly

Towards the arse-end of last year, Doritos ™ invited their fat, stinking public to make 30-second tv advertisements for Doritos, the best of which would air during the Super Bowl, because Lord Dorito (name of actual spokesperson may differ from the one I just made up) said, “Our consumers have a need to express themselves and interact. We wanted to give them the opportunity to express their passion about how they interact with Doritos.”

Time ’s two bob’s worth was the obvious two bob’s worth: “Why would consumers want to pitch stuff to themselves? It’s like a pig entering a BBQ cook-off.” And furthermore: “Who has a ‘passion’ for a nacho chip? … the upshot is someone giving cheap labor to a rich company.” The article ended simply with “ ka-ching ”.

Were Time right? Was the Dorito corporation just finding a new means to herd their pigs, or do people really interact with a Dorito? The answer, curiously, is both.

The corporation makes pigs of us all. And it’s true, of course it’s true, we do work to buy shit we don’t need. But then products do define our lives, such is the landscape of our world, the pig pen, The River of Slime. The question, ultimately, is how we interact with the Dorito.

In the eye of the shit-storm is Thomas, early twenties, who camped outside a Niketown store in South Miami for two full days to buy one of a limited run of Cowboy Air Max 180s. When approached by the media about why he was curled up outside Nike like a weepy dog, Thomas explained: “Without shoes, I don’t exist.”

The eye is a site of gross, almost retarded consumption, retarded inasmuch as it is truly mindless, but seems to cultivate a sort of worship by certain pockets of the media, and at this point I am referring specifically to MTV, which on reflection is less accurately described as a pocket and more accurately described as a billowing gut that has slowly spread itself over our cultural landscape and sucked everything up in its rolls.

The intention of MTV’s program It’s the Shoes , for instance, was simply to dribble over various sneaker collections. But to what ends? We saw Fat Joe slowly drag his wet tongue up the sole of his Nike Playstations, swiveling his butt, yelping “I like to live in AME-RIIII-CAH!” but why?

MTV weren’t interacting with the shoes; they were saying, “Here, pigs, buy more shit than is humanly possible for you to use.” They were simply presenting various instances of inane consumption and in turn rolling their gut over it, with no real appreciation for the shoes, just the level at which they could be consumed.

The exercise has no meaning or value. It interacts with nothing and is relevant only inasmuch as it shifts units, which is gross.

Al Cabino’s Operation McFly is not consumption, it is a movement, consisting largely of an online petition at this moment pushing 30,000 sigs, demanding Nike release the sneakers McFly wears in Back to the Future: Part II . Though no doubt you’ve heard any number of blogs frothing over the McFlys, their commentary for the most part more or less ends there, at their frothing gob. What most fail to spot, much less understand, is the true beauty, the super-irony of an every-nerd petitioning Nike to sell the very product that the corporation used as product placement to herd him in the first place.

Cabino is not the pig. He consumes, yes, of course he consumes, but like all real nerds he operates above consumerism. He’s not absorbing the cultural event, he is the fucking cultural event. Fuck It’s the Shoes . Even if Operation McFly fails, Cabino still will have won, because Cabino will have done more than drag his wet tongue along the sole of a Nike, he will have defined the cultural sand pit in which Nike exists; their Dorito is his.

We’re on the phone.

Al Cabino: I’ve always not really answered any questions about myself. I’ve always said, okay, I will give the least amount of information so they end up writing one sentence about me and everything else is about the shoe. That’s what has happened. I mean, a lot of people want to know more, but I avoid answering them. Because the shoes, the shoes … it’s just the shoes that are really important. A lot people do things and they do projects, but they do it for themselves. This is really a shoe project. It’s the shoes. Me? I don’t even matter in the project. I’m just the one who started it. I came up with the idea. I came up with a bit of strategy. MTV Canada wanted to come and visit and look at my … what’s that show? I’m going to sound like I’m not pop culture savvy, but I am.

Mia Timpano for NGW!: No, I know you are.

Cabino: [laughs] No, because it’s a little early and I am … anyway, it’s that show called, I think it’s Crib , is it? Some kind of show where they go and see someone’s house …

NGW!: Yeah, yeah, Crib .

Cabino: Well, because of all the coverage, they were just like, okay, we want to interview you, show all your sneakers. That’s not what the project’s about. It’s not about me . I want the shoes. I told them, “I don’t want to become a celebrity. I want the shoes.” A lot of people get caught up with the media. Then everybody wants to know more. They turn someone into a celebrity. I just thought, “Ehhhhhhhhh.” I was looking at the project and I thought, “Is this going to help?” Yeah, it’s going to help “awareness”, but it’s going to be focused on myself. That’s not why I started the project. I started the project to get the shoes. There are people who, when the media comes knocking on their door, they’re going to open their door, they’re going to jump in all their pairs of sneakers and say, “Look at me!” I’m just not into that. The media has done that and done that and done that and done that. It’s very easy.

Later.

Cabino: People contacted me, people who make movie props. They said, “You should stop your campaign. Stop this project. Nike’s never going to do it.” They’re like, “If you want to buy a movie prop, I can sell you one for a thousand dollars.” I was like, “What?” Then all of a sudden, a couple of weeks later, maybe a month later, these faux McFlys are popping up everywhere on the internet. And I was like, this must be the same person going around and putting that stuff on eBay and trying to make a thousand dollars on something that would take them, I don’t know, a couple of hours maybe? You know what I mean. First of all, it’s not a Nike. It’s. A. Toy. If people want the shoes, they want shoes to wear. If you decide to pay one thousand dollars for a pair of fake McFlys, you are going to be disappointed. And that can only negatively affect the project itself. People are going to be like, “I just bought a pair of McFlys.” But they’re not. Those are toys. This is someone in the movie prop industry who wants to make a quick buck and thinks, “Wait a second. There are thousands of people who want this.” I mean, just imagine if he can just sell a thousand at a thousand dollars. Even if it takes him a year, or whatever, it’s still a lot of money. He just sees it as an opportunity.

NGW!: But what if they could be worn? What if they were decent shoes, just not produced by Nike? Is that not more or less the same thing?

Cabino: No. Not at all. Because they are Nikes … I mean, if your question is would I wear a pair that were not made by Nike, well, they’re Nikes so … [long pause] I mean, if they were Pumas, if they were Adidas, then the project would be directed to Puma or Adidas. So … no. They’re Nikes.

NGW!: Okay, but tell me why you’re targeting the Nikes specifically. Why don’t you petition for a DeLorean with the capacity to travel through time?

Cabino: If someone wants to buy a DeLorean, they can. The DeLorean is something that exists . You can logically justify wanting this pair. A pair of shoes is possible. And you’re talking about a multi-billion dollar company that is helping athletes win gold medals at the Olympics.

No movie sneaker fan campaign has ever succeeded.

Cabino: Business Week said it had already been done, that there was another company that did it. No company has ever done it.

NGW!: The Asics Kill Bill Tigers.

Cabino: Exactly. There was no campaign. There was no movement. They already planned to make the sneaker available.

NGW!: Yeah, how’d that happen?

Cabino: An article isn’t fact checked, then they just repeat it. They did make a correction, but you know how corrections work. No one remembers the correction. It wasn’t what people wanted anyway. It was just a product with different colours.

I decide to touch a sore point.

NGW!: I know you’ve had a lot of hate mail. This was from anti-Nike people, yes?

Cabino: Yes. Absolutely. Especially at the beginning. Now … I don’t receive any hate mail now. When phase two rolls out, will it come back? [chuckling] Maybe. It might get everyone riled up. But I would say it’s non-existent now.

NGW!: What were they saying?

Cabino: “How dare you?” “Are you out of your mind?” You know, the founder of Adbusters , I forget his name …

NGW!: Kalle Lasn.

Cabino: Yeah, Kalle … He wasn’t too happy. He was actually quoted … I’d have to find the article, but he was like, “I’m really sad someone today, you know, really wants a pair of shoes.” I was like, “Whoa.” I even contacted him and said I’m doing the project. But he doesn’t like Nike. He was like, “You work for Nike.” He’s even making his own shoes.

NGW!: The Black Spot sneakers.

Cabino: Yeah. I remember the article. The thing is that he was like, “I feel sorry, I’m so sad that this guy is doing everything to get a pair of shoes.” At the same time, he’s like, “My Black Spot sneakers are available.” He’s Mr Buy Nothing Day, you know? I understand his motives, because he wants to sell his shoes too.

Later.

NGW!: Obviously, sneakers mean a lot to you. And sneaker culture means a lot to you. So, I was wondering, how would you feel if your collection of sneakers and, in fact, all the sneakers in the world were burnt. And destroyed. And there would be no more sneakers made. Ever. Not the McFlys. No sneakers at all. How would you feel?

Cabino: [pause] If sneakers didn’t exist?

NGW!: If they were burnt, at this point.

Cabino: [pasue] Well … what would be the alternative? What would people wear?

NGW!: Everyone would have to wear different shoes.

Cabino: Are you talking about the end of the world here?

NGW!: [laughing] No. Just sneakers. As we know them. They would be gone.

Cabino: I, I just can’t, I mean, you know, I don’t want to be too old school, but I really don’t think they will ever disappear. I mean, you’ve got the athletes … they’re comfortable … the design … I just don’t. You know what I mean.

NGW!: Yes, but hypothetically. It happens. How do you feel?

Cabino: I think it would be a really bad dream. I, I really could not imagine that there would be no sneakers. I just can’t. I think you’d have a lot of sad people. I mean, I’m not saying that the world needs sneakers, but they’re comfortable. They’re fun. You know, Rocky’s Chuck Taylors, there’s so many emotions attached to them. I just cannot imagine that they would disappear. If they would disappear, I would just think people would be a little grumpier, sad, and just feel like … I don’t know. You know, the traditional shoes that people wear, some of them are all right , but … [sigh] No. I cannot imagine. I mean, I know it’s not a really good answer, but …

NGW!: No, no, it’s a good answer. It’s good.

Cabino: Yeah. I would just think it would be a really bad dream. I would wake up because there’s no way. [pause] I just cannot imagine the Air Jordans not existing. [pause] Or the Adidas Superstar. [pause] I think the reason I cannot imagine that they would disappear is because they do make a lot of people happy. I think it would be like going back. In time. And I don’t think we should go back in time. We have to go forward. You can’t go back in time.

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